The Eye of Sauron

I feel like such a cheater, making Lord of the Rings references when I haven’t even read the books. But I’ve totally watched the movies – the extended versions, even! – multiple times. So that sort of counts, right? (Even though I fast-forward through the Frodo scenes?) (Sorry, but he’s such a whiner he makes Z look good.)

My pal Kristen…wait, my fabulous pal Kristen gave us her video baby monitor. The first night we used it I hated the thing, because Maverick kept spinning around and we’d have to go in there and flip him over, and I was trying to watch a movie, damnit. But now he doesn’t spin quite as much, because he’s in his funny sleep sack thing. Whoops, he’s on his tummy now….

I straightened that out.

Also, I investigated the advice online (stick them on their backs to start, then shrug your shoulders because if they’re going to turn, you can’t stop them…without Velcro or no-longer-recommended stay-put devices). I also Googled “life monitors for sleeping babies,” not sure if they actually exist. They do. They’re expensive. Besides which, I’d probably buy one, and then I’d be trusting it to work instead of doing my job as a parent and checking on my kid.

The Eye of Sauron looks like this. I’m not joking.

So one time I was watching him flail and fuss through the Eye of Sauron, and all of a sudden he levitated. “Whoa!” I said to my friend BDawg. “Maverick just levitated! Now he’s disappeared!”

I wish I could stop there, because it’s so X-Men, having a baby who levitates before vanishing. But what really happened was Homes went in and picked him up to comfort him. I, of course, had been content to watch him suffer, like the mean lazy independence-promoting mommy that I am. Besides, it makes me hurt to see him hurt, so our mutual hurting was, in some twisted way, acceptable to me.

Besides, I was talking on the phone with BDawg and we didn’t have much time because her three-month-old was busy creating the kind of diaper blowout that makes legends.

Not to get competitive or anything, but my kid was levitating. Ish.

Yeah, he totally looks like he’s flipping me off.

11 comments

  1. KC Held · August 15, 2012

    Hahahahahahaha! *I’m laughing too hard to write actual words*

    • Beth Hull · August 15, 2012

      Thanks, KC! A three-month-old with attitude makes my day, too. 🙂

  2. readingisdelicious · August 15, 2012

    Lol, you’re too funny. Also totally agree w/ you about Frodo. Except Merry and Pippin are also annoying… so what does that leave to watch?

    • Beth Hull · August 15, 2012

      The battles! I love watching the battles! Which is odd because usually I can’t stand violence, but as I was telling my pal PB, I have no trouble with motherless orcs dying. They aren’t human, so it’s okay somehow. I do get sad when the “real” people die, though. And Eowyn smashing down the scary dude in the last one…”I am NO MAN.” Ahhh. Satisfaction.

  3. momshieb · August 15, 2012

    Well, you caught my attention with your Sauron reference: I’m a huge Lord of the Rings Geek. I was secretly in love with Aragorn years before the movie was even thought of! And once I named a cat Frodo….
    On another note; you make me almost happy that my kids are all grown up! Its too scary to raise kids now. Back in the day we had to put them on their tummies or risk sudden death, and I kept turning my first child over until my own mom told me I was being ridiculous. And all we had were audio monitors. If I had had video, I probably would have stayed awake for 20 years!
    And my kids got to flip me off without me seeing it.

    • Beth Hull · August 15, 2012

      Ha, I’m watching him fall asleep on his tummy right now – going to flip him over as soon as I’m sure he’s asleep.

      A cat named Frodo? Awesome! Was it a whiner?

      • momshieb · August 15, 2012

        Well…..it sort of was just very, very earnest. And sort of lame. But I loved it!
        go flip that baby!

  4. PB Rippey · August 15, 2012

    The Eye Of Sauron on The Precious. Perfect! Only after my 200th viewing of the trilogy has Frodo begun to bug me and Astin boy not winning an Oscar for channeling Sam really bugs me. THEY ARE THE BEST MOVIES IN THE WORLD! Sorry. My fan side escaped. Gollum. Gollum. So glad you have the Eye—kind of wish we still had one.

  5. PB Rippey · August 15, 2012

    So funny–I think we were just leaving comments on each others’ blogs at the same time! hee hee

    • Beth Hull · August 15, 2012

      Couldn’t have anything to do with Afternoon Naptime, could it? 🙂

      I think I have a low whining threshhold (in others – I can do quite a lot of my own whining without bother). Frodo bugged me on the first viewing.

  6. Pingback: Allegory of the Revision Cave* « Nebula

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