The JOYS of Pregnancy

I’m tired of whining. Even when (I think) I’m being funny, I’m still complaining.

Well not today! Today I am going to share with you the WONDROUS WONDERS OF WONDER that are being pregnant. And I will conveniently leave out any complaining.

Joyous Wonder #1: Maternity Jeans

I’m a sweats/yoga pants girl at heart. I call my yoga pants part of my “uniform” for my “job” of writing during the first part of the day and taking care of Z during the second, rather louder, part of the day (and night). Sometimes I put my pajamas back on immediately after taking my shower. Yes, I confess all these things with absolutely NO SHAME. However, maternity jeans are the one thing other than sweats that I could wear around the house. I just told a friend that I may wear my maternity jeans in perpetuity even after the baby is born. For those of you who don’t know, maternity jeans look something like this:

I thought a half-naked blue, one-eyed alien woman would be preferable to a half-naked human woman. Let's see what kind of weird search hits I get on my blog this week.

Joyous Wonder #2: The Pregnancy Card

This is really just the special privileges a pregnant woman can get from her husband. Homes will go out at 9 p.m. to get food for me, or he’ll make special meals at my request (still waiting on those enchiladas, though…no wait, I had those. Well, I want them again. Must put in a request). Different husbands/partners may give the pregnant woman in their life different privileges with the pregnancy card. My privileges mostly amount to food and not lifting heavy things. I might get out of doing the dishes soon because my stomach’s getting too big for me to reach the faucet.

Joyous Wonder #3: Quickening

No jokes here. I freaking love feeling the baby move. And because I know this will be my last baby, I’m trying to memorize the feeling. Maverick’s more of a kicker/puncher than Z was. I mean, Z moved a bunch, but her moves were mostly stretches, like an alien foot arching across my stomach. Maverick’s, like, dancing in there or something. Anyway, it’s crazy cool, and I’ll miss it.

Joyous Wonder #4: No Dieting Allowed

I know things are different for women diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Thankfully, that’s not me (knock on wood. KNOCK ON WOOD!! I mean it. Everyone. RIGHT NOW). So if I want to have a teeny tiny salad for dinner, followed by a gigantic slice of chocolate cake for dessert, well. It’s not like I’m tracking Weight Watchers points or actually paying any attention to weight gain whatsoever. Until I start seeing my cheeks puff out (and I check, I admit, almost daily), I’m going to eat what I like. What’s amazing is it’s mostly salads that I want, not cake. (But yeah, if the cake’s there, I’ll eat that, too.)

So there you have it, The Joyous Wonders of Pregnancy. See, there are good things to it! And like I said with the fetal movement, I know it won’t last forever, and this is my last chance to enjoy it, so enjoy it I shall.

But I still feel like a Whoofle chewed up my pelvis and gave it back to me all mangled and crooked. Just sayin’.

Comments
10 Responses to “The JOYS of Pregnancy”
  1. Greggers wants to be pregnant just so he can wear sweatpants 100% of the time. Of course, he’d be complaining 100% of the time due to all the things you complain about, too, but whatever. 🙂

  2. PB Rippey says:

    The most comfortable clothing I’ve ever worn. I say keep them as long as you can fit into them–then have them altered. Good for you for cherishing the kicks and oofs and the cake, too. We’re only having our one and the time is flying by so fast. I’m glad I kept a pregnancy journal. KNOCK!

  3. Shaz says:

    Maternity pants are the best things ever. All pants should be like this. People would be happier. So far, that’s my only pregnancy happiness. Eating is fun, but I’ve found eating too much sugar, or fired things, or anything in general makes my tummy hurt. Healthy food doesn’t do this. It’s Soooooooooooo lame.

    I am excited for baby kicking. Should be coming up any day now. I’ve been feeling some possible jabs, but it’s hard to tell since this is my first…

  4. Beth Hull says:

    PB, a pregnancy journal is a brilliant idea. I try to include pregnancy reflections/memories in my regular diary, but I’m not very good about it (usually I just gripe about where my WIP is going…which is nowhere right now).

    Shaz, that’s a huge bummer about the junk food giving you bad side effects. I guess, enjoy those maternity pants! And look forward to the kicking – it’s surreal and wonderful.

  5. Vic says:

    Seriously loved my maternity jeans!! In fact, my entire maternity wardrobe is nicer / more comfy than all of my regular clothing combined!! You rock those maternity jeans as long as you possibly can, girlfriend! I never really got much of a deal on the pregnancy card; I have a great hubby, no doubt, but my belly never really got *huge* so I think that was the downside for me – I could still do pretty much whatever needed to be done. :/ And yes, I would be pregnant all over again just so I could feel that precious life kickin’ around – love it!

    • Beth Hull says:

      I’m jealous of women who don’t get huge with pregnancy. Jealous. I needed help putting my socks on today 😛 But you’re right – on the bright side, I do get that pregnancy card. Ice cream, someone putting my socks on for me….

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