Quiet Time? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

There are, in the world, parents who probably consider us lucky that Z continued napping until she was nearly three.

I try to remember this when I’m tearing out my hair and sobbing on the phone to my mom.

“Quiet Time” sounds something like this. (Please note: Curly brackets {  } denote the ESM’s thoughts, those things she says inside her head that she will never say aloud. Well, no louder than a grumble.)

Ever-Suffering Mother: Okay, Z, you’ve had something to drink, you’ve used the potty, you had stories and songs. Now it’s Quiet Play Time and I’ll set the timer for an hour. You get to play in your room now. Loveyoubye. {Maybe I should try setting the timer for an hour and a half? Would she know? No, but I would know, and I’ve inherited just enough of my mother’s Catholic guilt….}

Z: Okay, Mommy.

pause.

Z: Mommy, I want to take a nap. Turn on my noise machine. Please.

ESM: [rolls eyes when Z turns around] Yeah, sure. A nap. Okay, I’m turning your noise machine on.

Z: [climbs in bed] I need blankets.

ESM: [gives her the frickin’ blankets]

Z: I need my friends.

ESM: Okay, I’m getting you two friends. Which ones do you want?

Z: Talula and Ladybug Girl Baby.

ESM: [searching entire house for Talula and Ladybug Girl Baby] You know what? After this I’m not getting you anything else. It’s Quiet Play Time {dammit}.

Approximately three minutes and twenty-eight seconds go by.

Z: Mamamamadaddydaddy!

ESM: {yeah right.}

Z: Mamamamadaddydaddy! I need blankets!

ESM: I gave you blankets.

Z: [using distressed, I-mean-business-you-better-give-me-what-I-want-or-you-will-never-get-a-second’s-peace voice] I need blaaaaankets!

ESM: [using I’m-giving-in-this-one-time-and-if-you-ask-me-for-one-more-stupid-thing-I-will-explode voice] Fine! Here are your blankets. Now it’s QUIET TIME SO BE QUIET!!!

I’ve given up trying to write in the afternoons.

41 days until preschool starts.

Comments
5 Responses to “Quiet Time? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.”
  1. Maggie says:

    I got tired just reading that. I hope you find some writing time!

  2. Ellie says:

    Yep I know this one. I am currently paying for the kids to be in nursery one day a week just so I can write. Like yours, my eldest starts pre school in september – I actually cannot wait to bring in some daily writing to my schedule. (By which time the baby will have decided no more naps and the countdown shall satrt again).

    • Beth Hull says:

      Ahh…daily writing. Not just at night when we’re exhausted. Sounds divine. Ellie, may your baby continue to take naps until preschool starts! Some of them do, I hear. And even Z took an unexpected nap today, fell asleep while looking at a library book. It’s just no longer a regular thing.

      • Ellie says:

        Well the baby has already dropped to one nap, and the eldest willn occassionally nap – but only in the car! Might just start taking the laptop out with me ha!

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