Out Damn Spot!

If I had any sort of ability with these pesky computer-type things, you’d be listening to the Jaws theme music right now. Or maybe the shrieking music from Psycho.

People are coming.

To my house.

I invited them, of course. If I hadn’t, there wouldn’t be a post today at all because I’d be busy barricading the doors and phoning the police instead of trimming the jungle outside and collecting piles of recycling and freecycling.

And since I invited these people, I should probably make something of an effort to make my house presentable. And if not that, at least I can attempt a look that isn’t offensive. As in, you know, clean a little. Or maybe you don’t know. I didn’t know. I didn’t know how dirty this place was until I started cleaning it. (With my mom’s help of course. Otherwise, why bother at all because there wouldn’t be enough time to make a dent – a dent! – in the mess.)

We’re pig people. Disgusting pig people, living in filth.

We’ve been in this house for one year and eight months (and three days…easy to keep track because we moved on New Year’s Day). In all that time, I have never wiped down the outside of the microwave door. Blech. But you know, it’s not a high priority when one is simultaneously trying to keep a little (demanding) person happy, write a novel, and maintain some facade of sanity.

I could gross you out with further examples of my housekeeping negligence. But I won’t. I could also write out my rationalizations/justifications/whining-creations of why I don’t go to the effort to keep my house pristine and shining and golden.

But people are coming over, so I have to get my booty back upstairs to clean (with my mom’s help) so I can pretend I’m a great housekeeper/mother/everything-together kind of girl to a bunch of friends and family who know me better than that anyway.

P.S. There’s a Yappy #3 next door. I hope it’s just visiting.

Comments
4 Responses to “Out Damn Spot!”
  1. Randi says:

    The microwave looks beautiful…I can vouch for that! You gave me too much credit! I think I played with Z more than cleaned! Lucky me!

  2. Randi says:

    By the way, I was motivated by the aforementioned microwave! I came home yesterday and cleaned mine…it took a while but it was worth it.

    • bethhull says:

      That’s me: rallying the masses to clean their microwaves. If I can do it, you can too!

      • You made me feel so guilty, I finally cleaned mine. I burned an artichoke in it about a week ago (don’t ask) and the smell was atrocious.

        I’m still unpacking boxes that have been in my garage after I moved in 7 years ago. It seems lazy to stop writing, but not lazy to stop doing housework. Why is that????

        See you in Nashville. Let’s get down and dirty together about writing.

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